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The Gang Journal

Hairy Bastards Journal

Stories from the pelt.

Beard grooming stories: why we built it, what we did, why we did it this way — and the mother-in-law protocol. No wellness waffle. Just the bollocks that matters.

The movement

It's a Movement Now (Beard Optional)

Founding numbers, replica pelts, stag packs, Dog & Bone nights, and 10% to CALM. Oil was the start. The gang is the point.

30 July 2026 · 4 min read

Origin story

Why We Built The Hairy Bastards

Because every grooming aisle looked like it was designed by someone who'd never met a proper beard. Or a groin. Or consequences.

30 July 2026 · 4 min read

What we did

The Emu Oil Rabbit Hole (We Went In So You Don't Have To)

We didn't want another greasy novelty. We wanted something that vanished into a thick beard and still did a job. Enter the bird.

28 July 2026 · 5 min read

Why we did it this way

How We Named Handsome Fucker (And Why We Didn't Blink)

Safe brands pay for attention. We decided the products should introduce themselves like they'd already had two pints.

25 July 2026 · 4 min read

Sister brand

Why Civil Exists (Or: The Mother-in-Law Protocol)

Same formulas. Sensible labels. For gifts, shared bathrooms, and anyone who loves the juice but not the nickname.

22 July 2026 · 3 min read

What's next

The Guarantee, The Queue, and What Happens Next

We're not on shelves yet. We're building in public, taking names, and putting our reputation on a product called Handsome Fucker. Softly, softly… ish.

20 July 2026 · 4 min read

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Join the queue and become a numbered Founding Bastard. Free delivery on pre-orders. 10% of profits to men's mental health. Bring a mate — both of you jump the line energy.

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© 2026 The Hairy Bastards. All rights reserved. 10% of profits earmarked for men's mental health.