The movement
Beard optional. Attitude isn't.
Hairy Bastards is a state of mind. Got a pelt? Oil it. Smooth as a cue ball? Strap on a replica and join the gang anyway. Merch printed on demand. Beards reserved on the queue until stock lands.
Not got a beard?
Replica beards for the clean-shaven, the stubbled, and anyone who wants to walk into the Dog & Bone looking like they lost a fight with a carpet sample. Instant membership. No growth required.
Instant bastard · adjustable
Not got a beard? Borrow one. Full ginger pelt, straps included, dignity optional. For stag dos, match days, and men who've been smooth since '03.
£32
One size · adjustable
Novelty pelts — queue locks your colour until we open fulfilment.
Instant bastard · adjustable
Same energy, darker thatch. Strap it on and you're in the gang. No growth cycle. No itchy phase. Just immediate facial authority.
£32
One size · adjustable
Novelty pelts — queue locks your colour until we open fulfilment.
Print on demand
Black · gang emblem
Thick cotton. Amber emblem. Built for pints, not pilates. Print on demand — we fire the press when you order.
£28
PoD checkout links go here once Printful/Shopify is wired.
Black · heavyweight fleece
Proper winter kit. Soft inside, unapologetic outside. Print on demand — no warehouse full of regret.
£55
PoD checkout links go here once Printful/Shopify is wired.
Forest green · amber mark
Low-profile cap with the bird up front. For bad hair days and worse decisions. Print on demand.
£24
One size · adjustable
PoD checkout links go here once Printful/Shopify is wired.
Event packs
5 pelts · tee · Civil oil · mum cards
Replica beards for the lads, a tee for the main bastard, Civil oil for the in-laws, and cards so nobody has to explain the rude bottles. Event chaos, sorted.
£120
PoD checkout links go here once Printful/Shopify is wired.